Holding On and Letting Go
Life’s Final Chapter
R.M. Sydnor
Bryan
Hametiaux’s Holding On and Letting Go,
premiering at Fremont Centre Theatre in South Pasadena, explores life’s last
chapter. Bobby and Lee have been married a long time. Lee is an indefatigable
women's basketball coach. Bobby, an erstwhile basketball coach and now an insurance
salesman, has failing health despite being only 51. As his physical condition
declines further, Bobby must choose to either explore every conceivable avenue
in search of a possibility to extend his life or make preparations for a
graceful exit.
R.M. Sydnor: I have a feeling Holding-on and Letting Go (HOLG)
might very well rival your memorable National Pastime, a play about breaking
the color line in Major League Baseball in 1947. Both plays address emotionally impactful
subjects. HOLG offers a plethora of rich themes provoking us to deeply reflect,
not just too simply sit and watch actors perform. What did you learn from
National Pastime and other works that helped you with HOLG?
Bryan Hametiaux: You can’t write a
play about an idea, like race relations or the end of life. Theatre is storytelling, perhaps at its most
intimate. Any ideas you may have must emerge from the story with characters the
audience can recognize and in some way care about.
R.M. Sydnor: Perspective lies at the heart of this Holding On
and Letting Go, which makes this entertaining and thought provoking theater.
Give us some insight into these fascinating perspectives.
Bryan Hametiaux: At the simplest
level, we see the family members – Bobby, Lee and May – struggling for
perspective in the midst of the turmoil surrounding the end of Bobby’s
life. This is contrasted with the
professional, yet compassionate ministry of the hospice team – Jill, Gabe and
Roger. Hopefully, the audience
perspective is of the entire human landscape and our struggle as human beings
in dealing with mortality and death, our own and others.
R.M. Sydnor: We have all lost someone very close to us. I
am curious how your own experiences with death impacted in the creation of
HOLG.
Bryan Hametiaux: I’ve had some
profound experiences at close range, involving family members and friends, many
of which had hospice nearby. I’ve also
done background work in preparation for this and the other plays about
end-of-life, and benefitted greatly from those who have made this field their
life’s work. These include VITAS,
Hospice of Spokane, Visiting Nurses Association (Spokane), and many healthcare
professionals and hospice workers in the end-of-live movement in this
country. I am especially indebted to Dr.
Jim Shaw of the Providence Center for Faith and Healing (Spokane), the good
people of the Missoula Demonstration Project, out of Missoula, Montana (which
has now ceased operations), and the Duke University Institute on Care at the
End of Life (Duke ICEOL). There are also
dedicated and gifted directors and actors who have invested much in helping
bring Holding On ~ Letting Go and my
two other plays about end-of-life, Dusk
and Vesta, into being.
R.M. Sydnor: Modern medicine
allows for expensive interventions, often with no hope for sustained life. This
seems to be the case when Lee chooses to take Bobby to another country in hopes
of prolonging his life when indeed Bobby knew the end was near.
Bryan Hametiaux: Our lives are full
of avoidance and denial. I think that
near the end of life our need to hold on is often driven by disbelief, along
with fear of the unknown. This
resistance is fueled by a culture with its “never give up - can do against all
odds” optimism. Eventually, this simply
doesn’t work, and risks losing the opportunity for a “good death.”
R.M. Sydnor: There are five
stages of death: Depression, denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance.
HOLG seems to touch on all five.
Bryan Hametiaux: Yes, there are. Although I’m not so sure that there is always
a clear, natural progression through these stages – life’s more messy than
that.
R.M. Sydnor: The play opens and closes with scenes of Bobby and
Lee playing basketball in a loving game of either HORSE or one-on-one.
This is a clever and effective use of multimedia to offer depth to the
narrative.
Bryan Hametiaux: Jim and Jed Reynolds
did a masterful job giving the audience a glimpse at Bobby and Lee’s
relationship at a time when they were still at their best, and carefree. With this, the audience has a greater stake
in their final journey together. Such a
good example of how less can be more.
R.M. Sydnor: The use of athletes, in this case coaches, to tell
a story of facing death is particularly poignant because we think of them as
forever young. Yet I found myself thinking about other celebrated coaches who
too face death at the height of success.
Bryan Hametiaux: Pat Summit comes to
mind. Good coaches teach us how to win,
but they should also help us learn to lose gracefully.
R.M. Sydnor: Tell us about your muse to Holding On and Letting
Go.
Bryan Hametiaux: One of the ideas I
seem to need to write about is our mortality, and how we come to terms with
it. Thankfully, I was enlisted by the
end-of-life movement over 20 years ago to write a short play about “aging,” and
I’ve been at is ever since.
R.M. Sydnor: Every playwright faces challenges when he or she
puts fingers to keyboard. I am sure this is the case here.
Bryan Hametiaux: Keyboard? I write longhand, then dictate, then have a
longtime friend and word processor type up the manuscript, and go from
there. I do this because I’m a Luddite, but
this process also works for me. The
eternal challenge is to do my work alone until I have that first draft, and
fighting off the temptation to show what I’ve got to someone (anyone) and be
reassured.
R.M. Sydnor: The casting of Barry Wiggins as Bobby and Iona Morris
as Lee was brilliant. Mr. Wiggin, who possess a melodious baritone, has
an elegant presence and seems to be a paragon of how death can be faced with
dignity and grace. Ms. Morris’ Lee offers a rich introspective of a woman
suffering in the face of tragedy.
Bryan Hametiaux: These are incredibly
gifted actors, who are also willing to go the distance. Director Jim Reynolds attracts actors like
Barry and Iona and the rest of the cast of Holding
On ~ Letting Go.
R.M. Sydnor: I spoke with a nurse practitioner who is every
familiar with hospice care and she told me Jill Remez as hospice nurse Virginia
was right on point. This tells me you spent some time researching
hospice.
Bryan Hametiaux: Yes. I was fortunate enough to watch how hospice
functions firsthand, with many valuable conversations with those who do this
work every day. Quite a privilege to
have such access.
R.M. Sydnor: There are a number of actresses who could play May
but Amentha Dymall seems to bring a little extra spice to a mother dealing with
her son’s impending death and her daughter-in-law who does.
Bryan Hametiaux: Amentha Dymall is everything you could ask
for in her portrayal of May, and brings much needed warmth and humor to the
story.
R.M. Sydnor: Success as you well known is not achieved
solo. Tell about the collaboration process.
